The federal government should ban them.
The Girl Scout cookie season is approaching us, my friends — the most painful of all seasons.
Dieters like me who need to lose weight are always at the mercy of those demonic treats — simmint is clearly as addictive as nicotine.
This year, thanks to COVID’s madness, our challenge has never been greater.
Millions of us haven’t dented in removing the considerable weight we spent in the first and second years of isolation at home.
When it comes to dieting, I’ve been plagued by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’s syndrome for a long time.
I’m really healthy and healthy and spending hours in the gym, or cruising junk food aisles at a bulk warehouse store and loading salty and sweet snacks that I’m eating at a glance at streaming content on Netflix. You can find out.
Thanks to two years of sloth and diet abuse, the COVID pandemic has really brought me back to the health and fitness department.
But for the past few weeks, I’ve been eating right, exercising in my new home gym, and taking regular long walks with my best friend Server, my yellow lab.
And now, just as I’m trying to perpetuate a new healthy life, I’m greeted by a Girl Scout Cabal located outside the entrance to a local grocery store.
That is why, for our greater benefit, Girl Scout cookies must be banned, canceled and de-platformed by the federal government.
You see, asking for such a ban is no longer so crazy. Recently, there have been many crazy emergency government edicts to pursue health.
When COVID-19 began to spread in early 2020, federal, state and local governments closed many of our businesses, closed schools and directed our actions.
For months, we had to wear masks on the nose and mouth both indoors and outdoors. Recently, the blue cloth mask that most of us wore turned out to be a useless facial decoration.
The Biden administration has issued vaccine delegations to all companies with more than 100 employees. This was withdrawn only after the Supreme Court ruled that it was beyond the president’s constitutional authority.
Meanwhile, doctors, scientists, and podcasters who asked about vaccine efficacy and government COVID decisions have been labeled as mavericks by government, media, large social media platforms, and rock stars of the 1960s. increase. silence.
Indeed, there are always conspiracy-theoretic cooks in our digital world, and the false information they share can be ridiculously even harmful.
But what happened to the rational, open, and candid pursuit of scientific truth?
Do you have a lot of COVID data or evidence that hasn’t been organized yet?
Given the magnitude of this deadly global problem, is there still a lot of science to do or scientific theory to do research and testing?
It is up to government leaders and experts to answer such questions.
However, the authorities have issued so many arbitrary and often distrusted COVID bans and obligations for the benefit of public health, so it is less likely to ban the sale of Girl Scout cookies next. I don’t think it’s required.
The term “Girl Scout Cookies” is a terrifying emotional trigger for a chubby COVID victim like me.
Millions of us are helpless to avoid these delicious treats and therefore make them a public health annoyance, so our government must then ban them.
Tom Purcell is the author and humor columnist of the Pittsburgh Tribune Review. Send him an email at Tom@TomPurcell.com.